Princess Elda #5

It turned out a bit longer than anticipated, but here you go.  (I really need ideas..the next chapter will be about Princess Susan in Hula Skirt Town...probably involving plaid grass skirts, a friend named Kermit de Kevin, and something about a sea chickens revenge but I don't have anything written yet just a list of ideas.)
Also..I'm making banana bread and it smells amazing! It might make an appearance later.

News brief:

            "A Roy man was found dead lying among the smokey flames of the Central Branch library of the Davis County Library System this morning.  Located in the lowly town of Layton, Utah, it gave service to some thirty-seven thousand patrons, all of which will have to find another place to retrieve their books.  As the chief of police, Sean Talbot, stood searching the building for some sort of clue as to who would do such a thing as burn down a community library, I decided to go have a word with him.  As I neared him, he turned to talk to me and began the conversation with, "I've never seen such chaos at a library like this before!"  I silently agreed and nodded my head and scanned the room.  He wouldn't have heard me had I said anything anyway, what with all the screaming people running around grabbing all the non-smoking books that they could get their hands on.

            Among the screams of the patrons who were desperately trying to put the flames out themselves, we heard from inside the library a curiously frightening yelp indicating something was found.  "Why?!  Why?!  Why would someone do this?!"  Upon hearing the scream, this anxious reporter and the chief ran over towards where the scream came from there, we find Tess, the ever so trustful employee shelving in the cooking section.  As we approached, I noticed the books about baking cakes and cookies and all sorts of different meals were missing and were, instead, replaced by books about Chile and Austria.  Upon further inspection, I noticed that the spine labels had been changed as well!  What a horrid disaster has befallen the poor library!  Only someone who knew the library system very well could have done something so evil.  Only someone who knew how to change the labels and who knew the proper shelving technique could have done this.  Maybe it is those pesky volunteers that keep coming around, maybe they're really spies!  

I often wonder if most of the library workers have been driven insane by the multitudes of problems caused by inconsiderate patrons, because if you have so many people causing problems, you can only be calm for so long.  Another clue that made me think they had been driven insane was the fact that there were 5 or 6 of them sitting over in the romance section of the burning books roasting marshmallows and making s'mores!  You'd think they were happy parts of the library were burning and that they'd planned it and happy that they had all just lost their jobs.  Looking over, I had noticed a few of them, and remembered their names.  I went over to Liz, as she proceeded to put a marshmallow onto her stick ... I don't remember all she said, but I do remember one part where she said "That's because we needed to smoke out the crazy patrons!," I do believe, however, that it was a mix-up of the tongue, but still, very suspicious.  I then moved to the innocent looking Andrea, who was putting a piece of chocolate onto one of her graham cracker halves.  Her response sounded fairly honest, "The books went rampant!  I had to do something to stop them.  They were attacking patrons, we tried everything to stop them!  The only thing we hadn't tried yet was fire.  But we couldn't let them hurt people. We had to do something, it wasn't supposed to burn everything else, too.  Just the books attacking people!" 

            With all the chaos and questioning going on, no one knew what to do, until the door swung open with a lot of force, and Princess Elda came in.  With a wave of her magic wand, all of the books went back to where they were supposed to be, the spine labels were changed back, and all the books that were sitting as ashes were back to their normal state, moved to where they belonged.  Then everyone yelled "Hip, Hip, Hooray for Elda!"

            Then, it all came together, the culprit was Tami, queen of the rats!  She must have bitten one of the employees, made the person her servant and made them burn down the library!  That must have been it!  Tami must be stopped before she strikes again!!!"

Princess Elda #4

Still caught up in the fear of the situation, she stood still and couldn't move.  Suddenly, Handsome King Tim, the enchanter, swung in with his trusty sidekick, Elder Peterson.  Tim concentrated on Elda, and made sure she was okay, then she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and they swung out the window while the Elder took care of Tami.  He woke her up with that alcohol chemical that wakes people up when they've fainted, and when she was awake, he pulled out his handy pocket Bible, where he taught her 2 lessons.  Trying desperately to talk her out of going back to her old ways of killing people, and repent.  There was a large matchbox down the street that she could attend church at.  Tami, being a rat, had no idea what he was talking about, and couldn't understand anything he said, but she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling.  She didn't like it, so she bit his head off... and his right index finger. 

When Elda and Tim safely landed on the ground outside the tower, they were met by the ever-so-lovely and beautiful Princess Susan, who just happened to be Elda's sister.  She had just arrived home from a long vacation just in time to aid in the saving of her sister.  She brought with her three large white Siberian tigers, so that they wouldn't have to walk all the many miles to their destination.  Their destination was to Princess Susan's kingdom, the neighboring land of Hula Skirt Town. 

Next time: a news brief regarding books attacking people at the library.  

Princess Elda #3

When we last left our fair Elda, she was being faced with the most terrible of fiends in the whole rat kingdom, Tami.  At that time, she had no idea what to do because Tami was crouched down, about 3 seconds from pouncing on her and she had to think fast.  Suddenly, Elda heard a very high-pitched squeak come out of Tami's mouth; thinking nothing of it, she continued to stand there fearing for her life.  At this time, she had no idea what in the world to do about the strange situations she had found herself in.  Then, she decided to pull out the "How to be a good Princess for Dummies" handbook.  She quickly flipped to the chapter titled "How to fend off Vicious beasts with long tails (which contain a deadly poison) that they could easily whip at you and put you to death immediately" which told her about how to beat off dragons, snakes, large rats with pink-tipped whiskers, and various other feared creatures that usually live in castles. 

Moments later the door was knocked down by some 40 or 50 blood-stained rat servants, to which Elda let out a gasp.  She quickly whipped around and looked out the window down at the ground and saw a pile of blood and bones, of which she assumed, were the remains of her note-sending love.  Since Elda is a princess like no other, she has magical powers, at this particular time it was most important to decide exactly which one she should use against Tami.  She went to her handy dandy potion cabinet and perused her options quickly; she picked up “Mr. Belvedere’s Burp at the Beast” soda pop with 35% less carbs than the original.  When she turned around, she found that Tami was within feet of her and closing in.  After taking 2 large gulps, she let out the loudest burp you've ever heard and immediately Tami stopped, and her crowd of servants stopped dead in their tracks.  Tami fainted and fell over dead (or was she?) and all the rats were so frightened that they ran away down the stairs and never came back.  After a quick recovery from the burp, Elda noticed that the room was completely empty, all but Tami lying on the floor.  

Princess Elda #2

Here is installment no. 2 of the Princess Elda story.  Its a little haphazard and jumps around a little, but hopefully you can follow it (its definitely not perfect). :) Enjoy!

With Elda located on one side of the room and the thick, wooden door on the other side, she began to fear for her life.  As she heard Tami’s (the Queen of the Rats) loud footsteps nearing her, she began to tremble.  When Tami entered through the door she slammed it behind her and latches it so that Elda has no place to go except through the door, where she will have to fight Tami, or through the window where she would fall into the crowd of rats who will surely nibble her to death.  Well, I can either dodge her tail whip and beat her off with a roundhouse kick to the head, or jump out of the window and roll over on the ground and die, she thought. 

Tami is hardly your regular rat queen, she was 3 times older and 3 times larger than the average of her one hundred subjects and she had complete control over them.  She was about 7 feet tall when standing completely straight up.  She had really dark gray/brown fur with 4 black stripes going up and down her back.  She had thick, black whiskers with several inches of white and hot pink tips on a few of them, and very dark brown, evil eyes.  The first raid that she led them on when she first became queen was the invasion of a camping party.  There were about 20 of them sitting around various fires, singing songs, telling ghost stories and just enjoying each other’s company.  Tami noticed that some of them were desperate for food and were roasting rat and gopher like creatures on sticks over the fire and she really didn’t like that.  In another fire, she noticed people making s’mores and thought that she would show them who was who, she would make them into s’mores.  The experience of this first raid had a huge impact on the rat mob, and they decided to make this a tradition. 

As Elda peered into the eyes of the foe that stood before her, she noticed that Tami was assuming an attack position.  Tami had fought many princes and princesses in this castle and they all went the same way.  She assumed it would be the same way with Princess Elda, but she was not your average princess.  Crouching on her hind legs in the attack position, she felt a sharp pain in her right hind leg and realized that she had forgotten to eat the cheese that had been specially made for her arthritis problem.  In the same moment, she remembered she needed to go to the cottage next door and get some more of the cheese, for she was to meet with Weird Wizard William tomorrow.  She was getting older and she even noticed that some of her fur and whiskers were turning a little bit grayer than they used to be.  She always was an odd rat, she moved from castle to castle, marsh to marsh, frequently playing in Creepy Patrick’s Paints every week.  During this time, Tami maintained her evil stare at Elda and had reached the fully crouched position with her whiskers in full formation, sticking straight out from the follicle, ready to pounce on Elda any second.  

Princess Elda

Well, because I'm bored, avoiding homework and was thinking about playing with this story again after 9 years, I would like to introduce Princess Elda.  Elda is one of my friends' sisters names and most of the characters are named after people that I kind of know, or used to know, or have heard of.  It started as a campfire story, so its a little bit crazy, but kinda fun too.  I hope you like it.  Also, the story is very open ended, so please let me know if you have suggestions of how the story can go, comment and let me know.  We'll treat it as sort of a "make your own adventure" thing and I'll try to fit in suggestions where I can (if anyone actually reads this and finds it interesting).  Here is installment #1 of Princess Elda, ENJOY! :)

Princess Elda lived in the tallest tower of the Tallest Castle of Mallow in the deepest Marsh of the Land of Plywood.  She patiently sat and wondered where the handsome prince is that will rescue her from the clutches of the Evil Doctor Beardsley.  As she sat longingly gazing out the window, a long dart with a note attached flew in.  The note read about a prince longing to see her beautiful face looking down out of the window at him.  As she marveled at the oddity of the note, she also wondered if he was outside the window now or if the dart had been misfired and had gone off track of its goal.  As she neared the window curiously a sudden worry came over her that surprised her.  At the edge of the sill, she looked down toward the ground and saw…a huge crowd of very large, fat, ugly, brown and gray rats holding mini-pitchforks attacking a man. 

Having known that the rats around the Castle Mallow think that everything can be roasted over a fire and put between two crusty brown graham crackers, she fears for the life of her new found love.  She screamed loudly in the hopes that it might stop the rats from harming him, but all it really did was make the Evil Rat Queen so angry that she began to make her way up the tower to Elda’s door.